Recovery
by LadyBadass
Summary: Three months after the walls came down, Diana is struggling with her recovery unlike most of the survivors. Will she keep on living in misery, or will she overcome her loss with the help of another FAYZ survivor?
1. Chapter 1

**Story soundtrack: Recovery - James Arthur**

**Disclaimer: I sadly do not own the amazing book series that inspired me to write this fanfiction, nor the characters that come with it.**

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RECOVERY

_Out of suffering, has emerged the strongest souls._

- unknown

Her eyes were dry. Her cheeks watery. Breathing through her nose was only a distant memory as for the fact that it kept running in harmony with all the tears that escaped her eyes as she'd cry.

And she cried a lot.

Really, the only thing she'd be able to do was cry and sob which was followed up by a complete break down now and then, that seemed to occur more and more often these days. She'd thought that she'd be at least partly healed by now. But now, the more time that passed, it seemed as if she was being torn apart on the inside, even more viciously then before.

Lately; even when she slept, she would cry. And she would scream and toss herself around in bed, her arms punching through thin air as she tried to escape the vivd nightmares taunting her every wakening - and sleeping - hour.

Sam and Astrid would take turns on waking her up in the middle of the night, when the nightmares were too bad. And her screams to loud. They'd either be woken by her painful shrieks or the phone calls of annoyed neighbors who's sleep would be interrupted every night since the trio moved into the apartment.

So they'd wake her. They never said much, though she knew that their intentions were that it was better if she lost sleep, rather then every single other person living in the flat loosing it. So she'd just have to be the selfless one and give up her sleep for them to stay conscious in a relaxing trance.

Not that she ever wanted them too. It didn't matter how cranky everyone else would be when they had to go to work after a sleep deprived night. Because no matter how bad their night might have been because of her; her night was always ten times worse. Because of _him_.

Yet, all she wanted was to keep sleeping. Keep dreaming. It didn't matter how much noise she made, how much it would annoy others. She didn't care about them. She cared about herself.

And all though it pained her to go through the shitcrap that her nights consisted of, it didn't matter. As long as she'd be able to see his face. His beautiful features containing of a pair of manipulative, chestnut eyes and an arrogant smirk, yet so shy when it was directed at her. His face framed by his chocolate brown, smooth hair. And his muscular body. Even when they had gone through starvation, he was indescribably beautiful.

But there was no need to be woken by anyone know though. She was just lying there. Staring heavily at the empty wall before her. That is what she usually did.

The first three months had mostly consisted of her moving around from one house to another, moving on to the next one before she would have the chance to ever properly settle down.

But now she had gotten that chance. She had even gotten the chance to start over, though that didn't really seem like an opportunity to her.

Those two weeks since she moved into the apartment had been spent in bed, and most of that consisted of her crying silently as she stared into the darkness where the wall would've been, hadn't it been for the fact that all sources of light were blocked out.

The room was seemingly abandoned to anyone who hadn't actually seen Diana enter the room in the first place. And sometimes, not even Astrid nor Sam could be to sure that she was there. The only thing to truly confirm her location was her piercing screams and melancholy sobs.

Though the sobbing went on frequently, the screaming still was a rare case these days as for the fact that she stayed awake. So she was just lying there. In the darkness, in the silence. Very much like how the FAYZ had been for just a couple of days before the dome turned transparent.

Before the dome turned transparent.

Before Gaia killed uncountably many people in the most grotesque and ruthless ways.

Before he had _died_.

She shut the thoughts out. And as soon as she did so, he reentered her vision. She closed her eyes, imagining his voice, his soft touches. So careful to touch her. As if she was a fragile object that could be easily damaged. In a way she was. She was fragile. And just the slightest touch might hurt her.

But even with closed eyes, lying in the quiet room in the dark, sleep never seemed to take over.

It was impossible to just go to bed and fall asleep. Unlike anyone else, sleep never seemed to come to her, no matter _how _tired she was. And that is another reason for her not wanting to be woken up whenever the nightmares would break through. Because when she finally fell asleep, she wanted to stay that way. Instead, she'd be woken up, and have to stay that way for days, crying her eyes out.

What made it worse was seeing Sam and Astrid in that apartment everyday. They were just added upon the reasons of her locking herself into the bedroom. They kept acting so happy around one another. Around her. Sickly happy. Utterly fake. Too loving, too caring.

Kissing.

Hugging.

Smiling so brightly at each other, like everything that had happened in the past, was left behind. In the past. All pain was suddenly gone. Just like the adults once had been. But they had returned. And so would the pain. Eventually, the pain would be back, nagging at their very souls.

But they had each other, didn't they? Whenever a nightmare erupted from the back of their minds, they would awake beside each other. Soothing the other back to sleep, without even being aware of doing so.

But she didn't. All she had was that image of him. Those pictures left in her mind of him. They were slowly fading away. The way his lips felt against hers. His hands on her hips. Her hands in his hair. The way he breathed into the corner of her neck. The way he smelt. How he flashed his teeth in such a charismatic way whenever he smiled, and how the muscles in his chin would be pulled into a frown as she'd send a sarcastic comment in his direction.

And she was forgetting it. All of it. But she refused to let go. Not just yet. Not ever.

Even though, all memories left of him were tied to the FAYZ. All the crimes he had committed. She had stood by his side through it all, good _and _bad - mostly bad, obviously. And now she was the one who was the one being punished for it all.

No. That wasn't fair. Not fair at all.

He had sacrificed his life for her. For her to live on. Grow old and live happily ever after with some handsome gentleman who would treat her like a princess.

'Oh God...' she groaned, pulling a pillow over her head, banning the slightest sunlight that had found its way through the curtains.

That wish included enough clichés for a lifetime.

How on earth could she live happily ever after, when she had been through hell. Literally. If the FAYZ wasn't hell, what was? All those memories that had come with it and no one would be by her side when she woke up from parodied flashbacks, turned into nightmares. Other then a grumpy Astrid or exhausted Sam, of course.

She didn't want a gentleman. She wanted _Caine_. He didn't treat her fairly, and he sure as hell wasn't a gentleman, but he had surrendered for her to conquer. And when all is said and done, she _knew _that there hadn't been any ulterior motives to it. He sacrificed his body to Little Pete, so that Diana wouldn't have to. So that she could _live_.

What she was doing these days certainly didn't count as living...

And she wasn't a princess and clearly, she never would be one either. She used to be a _queen _though, back in the FAYZ. Just for a couple of hours, of course. Those few hours that passed from Caine defeating the bugs, to her joining Sam and the others at the Lake. But she hadn't just been a queen, she had been _his _queen. Even though he had totally forgotten about her in the moment, she knew it was true.

Her hands put extra pressure onto the pillow as it smudged her face.

Not with enough strength to get smothered, just enough to rub her tears fiercely across her face. Just enough for her jaw length, matted hair to get tangled up even further.

She couldn't remember the last time she had showered. Not to mention washed her hair. Now, it was all just one big lump of fat and grease and something utterly similar to herbage. It was disgusting.

She'd barely even left her room through out those two weeks she'd spent in their apartment. Seeing them just hurt to much. Seeing them reminded her of the pain. The pain she had gone through. Not to mention the pain that she accepted Drake and Caine to put the couple through.

Astrid would daily come and give her food and water. She had changed her bed sheets twice, airing the room and vacuuming the floor. Man, she took well care of her. They both did. They had taken her in, although she had never been a close friend to either of them.

Not a friend at all, actually. If you didn't count Caine and Drake - which she sure as hell wouldn't - she'd never had a friend in her life. The thought made her sad, depressed actually, yet she knew it was true. She was too bad of a person.

Still, they cared for her.

She had no explanation for why Astrid would share such a huge amount of her movie money on her, other then the fact that Astrid simply just is a warmhearted person. Even after loosing her religion, there was only good left in that poor blonde who had lost someone close to her as well that day. And even after that, she was able to live on with her head held high and her tears held back.

Partly thanks to Sam, of course. Sam was keeping both girls from falling apart completely, though he was doing a better job on Astrid.

But why was he even _considering _helping Diana getting over her loss?

Maybe Sam felt some empathy? Who knew, Caine had been his brother, after all. Then again, they had been nothing but hardcore enemies. Even Sam had felt the lust of killing Caine every now and then. But maybe that just triggered the emotions? Maybe Sam felt remorse because he never actually got a _real _chance with his brother, until the very end? They had finally participated in a war, fighting for the same thing. For the same right. Freedom. They had fought side by side and only one of them achieved the goal they both had.

She wasn't completely sure which of them had reached freedom though. Yes, Sam had gotten out of the FAYZ, but Caine had gotten a permanent break from the chaos, the strife, the pain. So after all, maybe he was the one who truly was free. Free and gone.

She clenched her fists, knuckles turning white as her fingers tugged around the sheets, a fresh pair of salty drops appearing in the corner of her eyes. The fact that tears still seemed to come, surprised her. She should be dehydrated by now, but still, more tears seemed to appear frequently.

But this wasn't what truly surprised her; she was shocked of _why _she was crying.

This time, she wasn't crying over Caines departure. She was crying because she so desperately wished it had been Sams instead. The thought of the true hero - who did nothing but make the right choices, saving lives and leading the survivors to victory - would be burned to ashes under the possession of Little Pete brought a tingle of hope to her, as if it still was a possibility for it to happen.

And then she and Caine could've moved into their own apartment and let Astrid occupy their guest room. But would they? Would they _really_ do something like that? Or would they just buy a small place, with a big bed and then fool around all night long?

Loud sobs took over, shaking her weak frame as Caine once again invaded every part of her thoughts. He always did. Just like a kid that wants all the spotlight. He had been so desperate for her recognition from the very first day that they met. It didn't matter, dead or alive, he always seemed to find his way back into the center of her attention.

Into her mind. Into her heart.

Would she ever feel what she felt towards Caine ever again, towards anyone else? Would she ever be able to do what they had done?

The odds were set pretty damn high.

And no matter how much of a "stupid, old saying" it might have been; Caine truly was her soulmate. He always had been, and he always would be.

And nothing could change that.

_No one_ could change that.

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**1. Was Caines death and the end of LIGHT expected? **

**2. How did you react to it?**

**This is the first chapter to my newest story. This is the usual length I write in, though the chapters to this story will be a bit more extended. Hope you enjoyed it, if you did (or if you didn't), then please leave a review in the box down bellow with your thoughts!**

**A new chapter will be up next Wednesday :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Story soundtrack: Recovery - James Arthur**

**Disclaimer: I sadly do not own the amazing book series that inspired me to write this fanfiction, nor the characters that come with it.**

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RECOVERY

_Actually, I just woke up one day and decided that I didn't want to feel like that anymore, or ever again. __So I changed._

_Just like that._

- unknown

_A young girl with fiery hair and energetic eyes was bending down in front of Diana, whining over how it smelled down in the dark cave and how something in between Dianas legs was slimy and gross._

_She wasn't seeing the scene from her own eyes, more of a fly-on-the-wall perspective. It all__ seemed extremely familiar, though she couldn't put her finger on it. Yet, t__here were some details about it all, that Diana pointed out, thinking that it for some reason, did not fit in correctly._

_The girl who seemed to be around a year or so younger then herself, had a disturbing burn mark running down one side of her face, hair missing further back on her head on the same side as the terrible scar. And her chest... Where her heart was located - or_ supposed _to be located - was replaced by an eight inch hole, leading straight through her torso._

_And Diana, she looked like she had back when she was fourteen. At her most healthy. Soft, creamy skin. Lean, but healthy body structure. Long, wavy, thick hair that reached down to her waist. Her breasts and but had a nice volume and she looked absolutely stunning, even with sweat running down her fore head and a huge bump on her stomach._

_For a brief minute, the red hair of the younger girl fell infront of her eyes as she bended further down, her scar blocked out of view._

_When she sat back up, she had a baby in her arms. It was glowing green and it was as if they had sat there for fourteen years put on an incredible speedup, because she could she the infant shifting shape into a toddler, into a young girl, into a teenager._

_She looked so much like Diana had. They looked like twins! Only small details were different. Such as the big, green eyes filled with soul-less-ness were absolutely sensational, but made her slightly anxious. _

_And her mouth, which seemed to belong to someone else. She couldn't put her finger on it, but it was identical to the lips of someone else that she knew. Diana could't help but stare at them. Such a beautiful mouth. As she looked at it, she got the weirdest lust of wanting to kiss it. Why, she did not know, but all those feelings disappeared as soon as the girls features tensed and her lips were tugged into the most animal-like snarl._

_The girl threw herself onto Diana, her palms on her arms as she pinned Diana to the ground, growling at her like someone from a mad house._

_'Diana...' the girl hissed through gritted teeth._

_Every single tooth in her mouth was like the tooth of a canine. Saliva was dripping from the edge of them as her fingers clenched into fists around Dianas arms, fingernails as sharp as daggers digging into her skin, making blood spill._

_Diana was screaming, trying so desperately to move._

_'Diana!' she shrieked, letting go of one of her arms, reaching out towards her face. The tip of her fingers were packed in by long, brown claws that carresed her face, making a cold shiver run up her spine. She could feel the monsters musculous arm flexing as the nails dug into the side of her face._

Diana was suddenly able to move and sat up briefly.

But before her was neither the animalistic girl, nor the young teen she had figured out was Brianna. She wasn't surrounded by dark walls of stone anymore.

She was sitting in her bed, which had literally been dipped in sweat and was now both wet and smelly. Astrid was sitting at the edge of it, holding Dianas hands and looking at her worried.

'You had a nightmare,' she stated, like Diana hadn't noticed that for herself. The old Diana would have shot a snarky comment back at her for the unnecassery statement, but the new Diana really didn't have the energy.

'Yeah, thanks...' she said effortlessly, pulling her hands out of Astrids firm grip and laying back down in her bed, closing her eyes.

'Sam and I are going to the beach today to visit Quinn.' she said, Diana chose that ignoring her wouldn't be the worst thing she could do. 'He lives in Santa Monica,' Astrid added as if the location would make Diana want to join.

'So you can drag me to Dr. Jones while your at it?' she grumbled, not moving to get out of bed.

She could see the light changing through her eyelids as Astrid moved to pull the shades to the side of the window. Diana turned in bed, facing the wall on the other side of the room instead, rejecting the light to enter her vision.

'Come on, Diana!' Astrid pleaded, sounding desperate. 'It's been three months, how long are you going to keep acting like this?'

'Acting?' Diana asked, feeling fully awake as she sat up in bed, glaring daggers at Astrid. 'I'm not _acting _Astrid! If I tried to kill you know, and Sam took the bullet instead, because he loves you so goddamn much, how the hell would you expect yourself to react, hu?!' she yelped, face turning red.

Astrids brows were furrowed and her lips pressed together into a thin line. Although her face was expressionless, Diana knew that she was processing what she had just said. Her arms were crossed, yet she did not lash back out at Diana, nor did she seem scared by the sudden threat.

Sam on the other hand - who had appeared in the door sometime while she was midway through her breakdown - had turned pail from Dianas sudden death threat. Although she wouldn't actually _kill_ anyone, you never really knew with Diana. After all, at the moment she was literally balancing off on the edge of a thousand feet tall cliff that led to mental instability, a nut house and a straight jacket.

Diana got out of bed, making Sam move further into the room. His arms were crossed as well as he stopped when he was standing protectively next to Astrid.

Just in case.

She ignored both Sam and Astrid as she stomped through the room, pulling a cerulean blue bikini, a pair of denim shorts and a grey t-shirt out of her cupboard before stalking off into her own, small bathroom, which was connected to the bedroom.

The door was slammed shut behind her and locked, before they heard the water running from the shower. Although they had all learnt in the FAYZ not to waste any resource of water, Diana did in fact need a good wash, so she let the hot water running for multiple minutes before turning it off.

Sam and Astrid were still standing by her bedside when she exited the bathroom after what seemed like an eternity. She raised an eyebrow at them, but did not yell.

She was done yelling. For now.

Astrid bent down, picking up a pair of grey converse in the same shade as the t-shirt from under Dianas bed. As she extended her hand towards Diana, she gave her a hopeful look. Almost as if she was trying to impress her by showing that she did know what items of clothing went with which pair of footwear.

Diana ignored this, but did take the shoes from her. She threw herself onto her bed, putting them on. Her long, thin fingers intervened with the shoelaces as she made perfect knots on them. She got up a minute later looking expectingly at them.

'Are we going or what?!' she said impatiently, an annoyed expression spread across her face as she stompt out of the room, the couple following tag behind her in a slow pace, not sure what to do with her at the moment.

* * *

As soon as the pavement turned into sand, Sam stalked off with his surfboard – which had been a true pain getting into the narrow buss – to hit the waves. Astrid had put out a big towel onto the ground, unpacking a set of big schoolbooks which she was supposedly going to read through out the short amount of time they'd be spending at the beach.

Before the others had abandoned her, Astrid had paid for a pair of sunglasses so that Diana's eyes wouldn't get totally fried while they were there. At first, she had dismissed the offer completely, but now that the strong sun shone upon her, she was more then thankful. She was actually starting to feel the slightest bit of guilt for yelling at the two of them earlier.

Diana kicked her converse off of her feet, walking barefoot through the water with her shoes in one hand. The sound of the waves was making her relax through out her body. For once, she didn't feel agitated and tense as she always did.

'Diana,' a familiar voice greeted. She recognized the voice and considering the way her stomach felt as she heard it, she had a feeling it was someone from the FAYZ, though her stomach didn't say anything wether she liked that or not.

She turned around, addressing the young man before her. His brown hair was in a darker shade from the salty water, plastered onto his face. His only layer of clothing was his swim trunks. Not that there was a bad view, considering his tan body, broad shoulders and lean muscles.

Being the fisherman of the FAYZ had its own perks. Compared to a lot of the other survivors of the FAYZ, he was one of the few that did not look underfed. Well, he didn't have as much bodyfat as he surely used to, but he sure as hell looked better then most of the survivors. Diana was a great comparison. As a matter of fact, she had an unwanted thigh gap and bikini bridge which made her want to throw up each time she looked herself in the mirror.

'Quinn,' she replied in a surprised tone, trying to speak to his eyes, not his chest.

He walked closer to her whilst carrying his surfboard under his arm. As they started walking together along the beach, he asked her the one question she did not want to be asked: 'How have you been holding up?'

The comment shut her mind completely. Minutes past were no words were shared and Dianas mind denied thinking clearly. More precisely; it was going on autopilot as it roamed her deepest thoughts, looking for a convincing lie. In the end he accepted that it was an uncomfortable theme for her and decided to talk about something less personal.

'Such nice weather! 64 Fahrenheit and there are like less then two weeks left until Christmas! So glad I can live somewhere where I can surf all –'

'I have nightmares,' she interrupted, not going further into detail about her vivid dreams, just stating a fact of her living.

'Who doesn't?' he asked. He didn't expect her to answer. It was a rhetorical question to anyone who'd survived the dome.

'Every single time they fall asleep?' she asked disbelieving. 'Even before I close my eyes... Even when I blink, a flash of parodised memories are revealed in my sight. Those nightmares hunt me down every single night. I thought they would stop by now, but they don't. It's like it has a hook in me or something…?'

As she mentioned the last sentence, Quinn chuckled to himself.

'Do you find something amusing?' she asked with an intimidating voice and an even worse expression, daring him to answer.

'Sorry, no, it just reminds me of something Lana once told me.'

'Tips number one to make it in life, Quinn: Never laugh at a girl when she is opening up to you, then excuse yourself by telling her that you once had a similar conversation with another girl.' She said, making him laugh for real.

This time, she joined in, and she found herself enjoying it.

'Man, I'm hungry,' he complained as their laughter fell to a silence. 'I know about a really nice beach bar not far away. I usually go there alone, but I'd love for you to join me though.'

Quinns confidence threw her off guard. From what she had understood, he didn't used to be like that back in the FAYZ. Maybe he was one of the few survivors who had been able to adapt to the civilized outside, turning back into the people they were before the dome had appeared?

'I mean, if you want to?' he said, not as sure of himself anymore. So he hadn't turned into a total muscle mass of confidence. But it was a lot better, she noted. And she didn't want to destroy his new personality by declining.

'Sure,' she answered, seemingly not interested, still not rejecting his offer completely.

At the moment, she wasn't really sure of what she wanted.

They walked in silence, the only confirmation that they were both still there; their arms bumping into each other once in awhile as they kept walking. Still, they were both mentally absent, their minds wrapped around some horrible memory of the FAYZ.

Watching the waves shifting in the crystal-clear water, the sound of the seagulls fighting over some smelly fish – nothing close to as violent as what she herself had been inside the dome, desperate to get fed, even if it was just the slightest piece of food.

'Here we are,' she heard Quinn say, pulling her out of her own thoughts.

He placed his surfboard onto the ground next to a bunch of other boards before leading her onto a platform made out of dark wood, a foot above the sand. The platform was kept in the shadow by the tree roof, which was held up by pillars. Each pillar had a round bar table surrounding it, with four bar chairs placed around it.

They walked past the bar and sat down at one of the high tables.

There were quite a few groups at the bar, but still the service was quick and within a minute, a cheerful brunette was standing in front of them with a pen in her hand and hair pulled tightly back in a ponytail.

'Hey Quinn!' she said, bright teeth flashed as she smiled in his direction.

'Hey Lil,' he picked up two menues from the table handing one of them to Diana. She gave him a small smile as she took it. 'We're not just ready yet.'

It was as if the brunette hadn't even noticed Diana up until that very moment. Her intense, icy blue eyes looked her up and down. Before she turned her back on Diana, fully facing Quinn, Diana noticed her wrinkling her nose in disgust.

'Who's this?' she said, with a voice so soft – so false – Diana wrinkled her nose as well.

'This is Diana; she's an old friend of mine. Can you give us a minute to look at the menu?' he asked her friendly. She didn't seem convinced by the word "friend", though she did leave after another couple of seconds of staring at Diana.

'Your friend _Lil_, seems like a very nice girl!' Diana said, convincing neither of them. And the look she shot him as she glanced up from her menu surely didn't help.

'She goes to my school. And so on the weekends, she works here to earn some cash. She gets pretty worked out from all the stress.' He explained, not looking up from his menu.

Diana just nodded at that. There was something she disliked about this Lil girl, but she wasn't sure of what. She convinced herself that it was none of her business, who Quinn liked. If they'd been closer friends, then maybe, maybe she'd comment on it. But were they even friends? He had suggested it, when speaking to the blonde, but still. They'd never really had a conversation before, but obviously, it sounded a lot better then acquaintances.

They weren't friends. The thought bugged her, and she desperately wanted to change the matter.

'Anyways, that isn't relevant, is it?' Quinn said, smiling, though he was looking slightly nervous.

'Then what is?' Diana asked him, leaning forwards, her chin resting in the palm of her hand. Her elbows on the table as her eyes locked with his. 'Life is all about looking forward. You're going to a new school, you're making new friends. How on earth could that not be relevant?'

'Because it isn't, Diana,' Quinn said sternly, looking at Diana with a warning look.

'Fine,' Diana replied brows furrowing slightly, though she silently decided that just this once, she was going to drop the theme and speak of something else. After all, he didn't pressure her to speak of her feelings earlier. Maybe he'd just open up to her in a sudden outburst any second now?

But he didn't. Not that Diana really noticed, nor cared. She changed the theme, talking about him moving to Santa Monica. He told her about his parents buying a new house while he was still inside the dome. How they had bought a house with an extra bedroom for him in it. How he was taken in straight away and it felt like nothing had changed. How he loved surfing here, although he missed Perdido Beachs waves. They didn't speak of Perdido Beach after that.

They ordered their food and ate while sharing multiple stories, none which included Quinn talking about his new school, nor new friends. After they were done eating, Diana was relieved that they could leave Lily and her bitchy attitude by herself. Quinn insisted on paying, and since Diana didn't have a single dollar, she didn't argue about it.

After they were done, they walked down the beach together. The sun was setting, and the temperature was dropping dramatically. Sam and Astrid had already packed up all their things when they got back, waving at Diana to hurry, stating that the buss left in five minutes.

'Thanks for the dinner, Quinn,' she said, flashing a rare smile in his direction. He returned it cheerfully, loving how something so absent would appear because of him. Maybe money could buy happiness? No, Diana really just needed someone to speak with. About anything, really. And he appreciated that he could be there for her, just as much as she did.

Before they parted, he squeezed her arm lightly, making the slightest rush slide through her body. He let go and her body felt as cold as ever.

And with a quick nod; they separated. Quinn walking in the direction of what Diana figured must be his new home. Diana walking towards the couple that had given her one of her own.

* * *

**3. What do you think of Drew?**

**4. Why do you think that Quinn is acting the way he was?**

**Guest (2 April): **Crazy reviews make me the most happy! Glad to hear that I'm not the only one shipping them. Saw a huge possibility, since pretty much no one has ever written of them. Sorry, but I'll only be publishing on Wednesdays (although I have to admit that I have been impatient myself)! :)**_  
_**

**Mitsy L: **Yeah, this actually sort of broke my heart writing as well.. Oh well, I'm glad if there were some feels expressed through my readers, haha:) Glad to hear that you liked it though, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter just as much although there was a lot of dialogue!

**Corbin123: **Thank you, hope you loved this chapter as well! :)

**A new chapter will be up next Wednesday!**

** Reviews are always welcome!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Story soundtrack: Recovery - James Arthur**

**Disclaimer: I sadly do not own the amazing book series that inspired me to write this fanfiction, nor the characters that come with it.**

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RECOVERY

_The secret of change is to focus all you energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new._

-Socrates

It's nice to see that you are healthy again, Diana. Last time I saw you was right before you were going to the funeral, am I right?'

Diana said nothing. The shrink sighed inward.

'How did it go?'

Diana wasn't sure what to answer. And as always, she refused to share eye contact between her and the psychiatrist sitting before her.

Mary Jones, that was her name.

After the walls had come down, psychiatrists all over the country had all volunteered on the mission to speak with a survivor each without any sort of payment for doing so.

In the beginning, Diana had disliked Mrs. Jones. It didn't matter how sweet the doctor might be. How generous she was for having sessions with her for free. The only thing that Diana focused on; her first name reminded her of the poor girl Mary, who's life had been devoted to the toddlers in the FAYZ, until she died out in the real world after poofing on her big one-five. Mary, a selfless girl who had been treated poorly, turning depressed before the noses of everyone. And neither Diana nor Caine cared enough to help her out.

After Mrs. Jones had been insisting on Diana giving her a chance, she had. And when she was let out of the hospital a couple weeks later, she had voluntarily signed herself up for weekly meetings with the doctor. Sadly, since the survivors were not obligated to take sessions after being charged from the hospital this was not for free, and the poor amount of money that Diana had, was now all spent on speaking with the psychiatrist.

It was worth it, though. She had a great tolerance for patience when Diana didn't feel like opening up. And when she _did _open up, weeping until there were no tears left, she'd be handed a tissue. And when she spoke of Caine she did not reply with _'No matter how real it all felt, the feelings you felt towards him weren't mutual. He's a _sociopath_, he can't love'_ or '_He was a mass murderer. You'll do _much _better without him_.' Instead she'd listen and accept Dianas actions through out the FAYZ.

'It was like the FAYZ all over again…' she started, staring out the window at the bicyclists down bellow. 'Seeing everyone… Everyone was gathered at one place, and they were crying and…'

She closed her eyes so forcefully it hurt. She refused to cry. Not now, not in front of someone. One thing she had learnt that passed year, it was to not show any weaknesses. Even in front of someone as harmless as Mrs. Jones.

'That is why I haven't come here for the last two weeks.' she continued. 'I didn't go anywhere at all, really...'

'Other then when switching houses?' The doctor asked sympathetically. She knew all to well that Dianas mother never stepped forward after the FAYZ and that she had been taken in by multiple survivors, living at their house for a couple of days each before moving on to the next one.

'Astrid could afford this apartment with her movie money. So she and Sam moved in together...' she started, opening her eyes and wiping away a tear that was threatening to escape the corner of her eye. 'They have an extra room there, and they invited me to stay with them.'

'That was really nice of them,' Mrs. Jones stated with a soothing voice as she smiled gently at the young girl before her.

'It was, yes. But it is hard as well, you know. It's harder getting over him, when I see his brother daily, making out with some smartass girl who hated me through out the FAYZ.'

'I understand...'

'No you don't,' Diana whispered through gritted teeth. The fact that her will to fight was lost bothered her. She felt empty without her witty tendency. 'She wanted me to _die_. She hated me for the monster I had created. That is nothing you could ever relate to.'

Through the emulated glass, Diana saw her own reflection staring back at herself. She had taken a shower before she came here. She had washed her hair and put on clean clothing. She had even applied some makeup to her face. Staring at her own reflection, saw a beautiful teenage girl, one very similar to what she looked like before the FAYZ. Just without the pride. That was something she needed to work on from now on.

'You start school in two weeks, right?' the shrink asked, looking up from her notes for a second. Diana was still staring out the window.

'Yeah,' she replied. Mary was only trying to make conversation. She already knew that Diana was starting school again, because she was the reason for it. A lot of the kids had scored positively on their depression diagnosis and got the time they needed to recover. The therapist had decided that what Diana needed to get better, was a social life. So after three months with a limited amount of progression on her comeback, she got her into the same public school as Sam and Astrid had.

When Diana first got the news, she was pissed about the fact that she'd have to share school with her previous enemies, frightened of what rumors they might spread about her. But now that she was living with them, she felt like an idiot for ever believing that they would do something so Diana-like. Now, she had gotten to see for herself that both of them had put everything behind them, giving her the chance she needed to start over.

Every day that passed, she was growing more and more nervous about starting at the school, and although Sams stupidity and Astrids intelligence were both getting on her nerves, she was more then thankful for the familiar faces to guide her through the hallways of the new school when she was starting.

The reason she went to a public school, and not another private school like Coates was partly because they costed a great amount of money which Diana did not have after her mother left her. But the main reason was that none of the psychiatrist working with survivors of the FAYZ believed that it would be a good idea sending the troubled ones back to any private schools.

They had jumped to the conclusion that being sent away from their parents yet again, isolated at a school with a hundred other teens would just trigger their traumatizing memories to be set on replay. None of them could afford to to put their jobs at risk by doing so, and so they said that the children could visit shrinks after school instead and then go home to their loving parents whom they lived with.

Diana wished she was one of those kids.

The doctor kept taking notes as Diana spoke of how she had spent her previous weeks in bed, weeping. She didn't get how this could help, when Mrs. Jones had never experienced anything close to what Diana had been through. Yet, when she looked back at her progress, she did feel a bit more lighthearted after every visit here.

She didn't speak as freely as the doctor had hoped that she would. Since she hadn't been there for three weeks now, it was expected that the two of them would have a lot to talk about. But Diana seemed more isolated then ever. The few things she did talk about though, was enough for her to shed tears. Everything about the scene was devastating.

Forty minutes later, Mrs Jones clicked the cap of her pen, making the probe electrode pull back into the pen. She put it down with her notepad on the coffee table and exchanged it with a red file lying next to it.

'It seems like our time is up,' the doctor said, gathering her loose papers and storing them all in said file.

Mrs. Jones stayed in her seat as Diana got up from her sofa. She picked up her bag and threw it over her shoulder. They shared a friendly smile in between one another, before she turned to walk out. She was stopped by the voice of her doctor as her hand was resting on the door handle leading out to the rest of the world.

'Since christmas is next week, I won't be seeing you until next year. I hope you have a fine vacation.' Diana turned her head halfway to give her the slightest smile and a quick nod, before putting pressure on the handle and pulling the door open.

As she walked down the corridor, she was careful not to look through the doors leading to other offices. Sometimes the doors might be left open if one of the doctors were up to get something from one of the other offices. If a patient was waiting in the room at that time, she hated seeing them. Some of them looked even more traumatized then she had been to begin with.

She walked down the all to familiar hallway, leading to the reception were there were a set of chairs surrounding the walls. Other therapists passed by her and would give her a pitying smile in the process. There were a lot of unstable teenagers that would weekly visit the facility, though she seemed to be the most infamous of them all, attracting all the attention wherever she went.

* * *

Diana had always been open to talking to Mrs. Jones. She couldn't even remember ever having a patient who spoke so openly. Was it wrong to say she didn't want Diana to do so though? Every time Diana spoke, it was like something was tearing at her heart.

Dianas struggles wasn't anything close to what she was used to.

Mrs. Jones was used to having teenagers having a fight with their boyfriend. Sinking grades, or fighting parents. In the worst case; they might be suicidal, though she had never met someone quite like Diana. She was fascinating to work with, yet she surely was quite handful to process.

She had grown up in a Catholic home, which is why her parents named her Mary. She had always had strong believes for Jesus and God, but Diana had changed that.

At first, she had tried to convince herself that Diana was just schizophrenic, though she knew it was to good to be true. She had seen the dome herself. She had seen a boy murder a young girl with flames that emerged from his own palms. He had seen another one make a car fly. The same boy that Diana was so heart broken over.

The problem was that when Diana talked, there was no progress. She'd speak of her boyfriend, or starvation. And then she'd be cut off by loud sobs. The next week she'd be speaking of the exact thing, before the sobs repeated themselves.

_At least she speaks, _Mary thought to herself, as she looked through the notes of their previous meetings. The only difference she saw was the increased isolation as Diana lost interest in speaking of the same thing as always. As the shrink had tried to find another category for them to talk about, she was rejected every time.

She even brought up irrelevant themes, such as the weather and programs on the television. That was her technique on getting teens back on track and adapting them to speaking again. But it wasn't working on Diana. it seemed more as if she spoke when she wanted to, and now was not one of those times.

Taking a five second brake from her paper, she looked out of the window and got distracted as she saw Diana exiting the building down bellow, stopping to speak with another boy her age.

* * *

'Quinn' she greeted. No emotions expressed through her voice, yet an inner tickle of happiness that they both shared between them when they saw each other.

The boy turned, followed by the other four teens walking with him. They looked at her with blank expressions - all but Lily, who was looking at her with fierce hatred - not sure how to react to the stranger before them.

'Uhm... Diana, hey,' he walked over to her, his friends sharing confused glances, not sure how to react to the scene. He embraced her awkwardly, before turning back towards his friends. 'Just go ahead, guys. I'll catch up with you soon.'

The rest of Quinns gang nodded understandingly and the four of them stalked down the road, entering a cafe further down. Three of the four seemed caught up in conversation, probably on who Diana was. Lily - the only one who'd have part of the answers - seemed absolutely out of it as she kept casting quick glances over her shoulder, staring at Quinn like he was some super handsome movie star.

'So what are you doing here?' Quinn asked her, as he turned around to face her, his full attention devoted towards the girl before him. He was straight forward nice to her, something she figured out that she enjoyed.

'Visiting my psychiatrist,' Diana stated as a matter of factly. She wasn't ashamed that she needed help. She was proud that she was able to accept it, unlike most of the rest of the suicidal kids left traumatized by the disturbing events of the FAYZ. 'So, are you on your way back from school?'

'Yeah, it's right over there,' Quinn replied, pointing in the direction behind Diana. 'I'm going to this café right down the street if you wanna join?'

'No, it's fine. I didn't bring any money and I still owe you for last time.' Diana said, feeling ashamed that the problem wasn't that she didn't _bring_ the money, but that she didn't _have _the money.

'Sure?' Quinn asked. 'You know, I wanted to pay for it. And I can do it again?'

His offer was too sweet, too selfless. Diana could get used to that. But the more she seemed to like it, the bigger of a pit would gather in her stomach, making her shrink back into her shell again. So she shook her head repeatedly.

'No, it's fine, seriously. My buss is coming any time know.' she gave him the slightest smile and turned to walk towards the buss station without even saying goodbye. It would be better to cut them off before they truly became _friends_. She wasn't sure she'd be able to handle it if they ever did become it.

'I guess I'll see you next week then!' Quinn yelled after her. She turned on her heal, her brows furrowed. Was he asking her out? Quinn laughed and shrugged as if he had read her mind. 'You know, for Christmas. Sam and Astrid invited me for dinner. Didn't they tell you?'

Diana froze. God, it would be a lot harder to avoid him if they had to see each other. Maybe she could just ditch it? Go to a bar or something? Astrid would not let that stand, though. She would have to figure out another way to get out of it.

'Guess I'll see you there then,' Quinn said, smiling gently at her before he turned, jogging down the street towards the café to hang out with his new friends, who were all a part of his new life.

She wished she had recovered as well as he had.

* * *

**5. What do you think of Mrs. Jones?**

**6. What do you think of the new image I made for the story?**

**Guest (10 April): **Thanks for the review. I'm glad that someone told me about it! Sadly neither Diana nor Quinn are my favorite characters, I just ship them and had an idea, so I wrote it. So sorry that they're out of character, I'll try harder to work on it. It would be great if you gave me another pointer on exactly _what_ made them OOC, or at least one or two things that are the worst, so that I have something to work with! :)

**A new chapter will be up next Wednesday!**

**Reviews are always welcome!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Story soundtrack: Recovery - James Arthur**

**Chapter soundtrack: The Angels Cried - Alan Jackson ft. Allison Krauss**

**Disclaimer: I sadly do not own the amazing book series that inspired me to write this fanfiction, nor the characters that come with it.**

* * *

RECOVERY

'Diana, can you get that!' Astrid called from the kitchen as the doorbell rang.

A sour Diana stepped out from her bedroom, making herself walk towards the door beyond her wish. She was dressed in a long sleeved, v-neck, dark green dress that went to right above her knees. It was hugging her slim figure in the right places. Her shoulder length hair was hanging loosely from her head in lazy, yet flawless waves.

Although spending a year in the FAYZ had made her used to not dressing up, she had started picking her eyebrows again, shaved and applied more make-up then usual for the occasion. She simply looked as stunning as she used to when she was younger.

As she walked with the same elegant steps as she'd always had, her black heals gave off a clacking sound against the wooden tiles. She opened the door in a swift move and outside was a handsome looking young man dressed in dress pants, a collared shirt and a bow tie.

'Hello Diana,' he greeted, handing out a bouquet of flowers hastily.

'Hey Quinn,' she replied casually, taking the flowers with furrowed brows.

'They're for Astrid - and you of course. You know, you give the hostess flowers, right? I mean, it'd be pretty rude to just lounge here during Christmas Eve, wouldn't it? Like, the least I could do was by you guys flowers. And hey, they weren't even that expensive - crap, I probably shouldn't say that...'

Quinn blurted it all out, and Diana listened to it all, not sure if he was speaking to her or himself. After all, no eye contact had interacted during his speaking, and he spoke in a low mumble, making it hard for her to hear it all clearly. Still, Quinn had never really occurred to be the crazy kind - though you never knew when it came to survivors of the FAYZ - so she assumed something was just making him nervous.

Too bad that Diana wasn't the kind of girl to ask and _actually_ care.

'Merry christmas, brah,' interrupted Sam from behind Diana. He gently pushed his way past her, embracing Quinn in that weird way that guys hug each other. They started chatting about surfing and Diana quickly enough decided that she had better things to do, so she left to water the flowers instead.

In the kitchen, Astrid was working with mashing sweet potatoes while the turkey was still in the oven. Her long, blonde hair was pulled back into a tight knot and her scarlet colored dress was hidden beneath her messy apron. She seemed too caught up with her work to even notice Diana entering the room.

'Turkey, sweet potatoes, what else; pie?' Diana said smirking at Astrid as she passed by her. Personally, she was used to ham for christmas and turkey for thanksgiving. She considered it weird to eat the same meal on two holidays, especially two holidays with only a months gap in between.

'Yes, I prepared it this morning. One of the many things I had to make without your help,' Astrid kept her eyes on the food while talking. She didn't sound mad, just exhausted. And stressed, always stressed over the smallest, even most irrelevant obstacles.

'Hey, don't blame me,' she said, raising her hands into the air in defeat. 'I didn't even want to be here: _you_ made me.' She found a vase in one of the cabinets above the sink and filled it with water. Putting the flowers into it, she walked around the counter, entering the living room immediately which really just had been squished into he same room as the kitchen.

The flowers were placed on the middle of a small table set for four. More people had been invited, yet they ended up being only the four of them. After Diana had framed Sam and Astrid the previous week about inviting Quinn without asking her about it, they admitted to having invited quite a few more, but everyone declined for different reasons:

Dekkas parents had finally started to tolerate her "ways of living" and so she thought it would be the best to take it to an advantage by staying with them for the holidays. Sam had tried to contact Lana for days, and when he finally got the hang of her, she immediately declined his offer and hung up without saying such thing as 'goodbye'. And Edilio was spending his christmas at the mental institution Roger was assigned to. Diana found this both sadly tragical and amazingly romantic.

The table was small though, and perfectly fit four teenagers, though all the food Astrid had made would make the space minimal and Diana couldn't imagine what they had planned on doing if they were eight? More precisely; seven. Because if they were going to be throwing a party - even a small one - then Diana would be out of there immediately.

* * *

After Astrid had finally accepted that the dinner could not be made any less perfect then it already was, she sat down with the others. They would've shared a prayer, something whom at least Astrid was used to doing, but when Sam offered, she declined immediately and was the first one to dig in on the delicious meal. It was food enough to serve all four plus Dekka, Lana, Edilio and Roger, but considering the starvation they had been exposed to the previous year; they ate all there was to eat.

When the dinner was devoured, pie and ice cream was served. Although everyone were full, they ate and in the end there wasn't a single person who was fully able to move. So after sitting still for hours talking - Sam, Quinn and Astrid did most of the talking, though Diana would occasionally interrupt them to point out something witty - Sam and Astrid got up form their seats and cleared the table.

Diana and Quinn stayed behind, sitting for a while in an awkward silence that fell upon them as soon as they were left behind. Only the christmas songs that were played in the background kept them from attending the stiffest dinner of all time.

After sitting still for a while, Quinn got out of his chair and walked over to were Diana was still sitting. He extended his arm, letting his hand hang right in front of her. Diana just stared at him with an expression of confusion. As if answering the question, Quinn slowly started shifting the weight on his feet. She just laughed at this.

'What are you doing?'

'Dance with me.'

'What?' she asked, laughing the slightest at it, as if it was all just a joke. Quinn was grinning sheepishly at her as well, yet there was something about the way he looked at her that told her that he was in fact serious.

'Dance with me.'

It wasn't a request, nor was it a command.

Had this been Caine, then she would've just started to laugh mockingly at him. She would've tossed her short hair over her shoulder and told him to dream on. She mentally slapper herself for thinking about him.

_This is Quinn, for christ's sake! He is different_, she told herself. And although she had told herself to stay away from him, she wasn't able to resist when Sams speakers - which he had gotten as a christmas gift - switched to a calming song which seemed perfect for a slow dance. It was a urgent heat of the moment decision, yet she didn't seem to regret it then, nor later.

So she smiled at him, and took his hand as she got onto her feet and he lead her over to their "dancefloor". This meant walking two feet away from the table and then be able to dance together within that one and a half square meters of space that the TV, coffee table and sofa of the living room hadn't already consumed.

They swung back and forth, her hand in his in a firm grip, the other one on his strong shoulder. She could feel his other hand on her hip, just as firmly. Not awkwardly, just careful, almost as if she was off limits to him. Maybe she was? She hoped that he didn't consider her superior. That wasn't her. She just wouldn't let her guard down. Not just yet.

She wasn't ready.

'Do you even know how to dance?' Diana asked, breaking the silence between the two of them. 'Because I don't.'

'Well, I could've warned you about how I've only slow danced once before, but you told me not to speak of other dates with girls.' Quinn stated.

'So this is a date?' Diana asked, looking up at him and smirking her trademark smirk. Quinn blushed and kept his gaze locked with his shoes.

Once in a while, he'd awkwardly step on her toes, turning a darker color of red and making her laugh. Not that snarky laughter she'd always use at Caine and Drake whenever they did something stupid back in the old days. No, this laughter was real. And as the sound escaped her mouth, she was surprised that it had come from her. It didn't sound like her at all. She sounded amused. Happy.

* * *

From behind the kitchen counter, Sam and Astrid were standing next to each other, drying of each their plate with a towel, facing the two teens dancing only multiple meters away. Still, it seemed as the two couples were in two different dimensions as they watched them.

'What's Quinn up to?' Astrid whispered at Sam. Not that whispering was necessary as the music was so loud, Sam himself had trouble hearing her.

'Nothing,' Sam replied, leaning closer for her for her to hear him clearly. It was more of a question, rather then a statement. You didn't have to be as close to Astrid as Sam was, to know that she didn't just ask questions randomly. 'What are you thinking about?'

A heavy sigh escaped Astrid. Sam looked down at her with a frown upon his face. She was still staring at Diana and Quinn as they kept dancing although the song was over. As yet another christmas song started, they still stayed close to each other, dancing.

Astrids nose wrinkled as she remembered the song as Alan Jacksons _The Angles Cried_. She hated the songs that were being played, as for the fact that they reminded her of her childhood. The album was from her parents as an early christmas gift, and Sam had insisted on her at least giving it a chance before she threw it away.

Although both she and Sam had agreed that the songs sucked, Diana and Quinn didn't seem to mind as they kept dancing to it.

'It's just... You know, he is a traitor.' First now, she looked up at her boyfriend and noticed how he looked completely hurt as if it was him who had been branded as one.

'Astrid... Quinn is my best friend.' He started weakly. The sad look across his features made Astrid regret what she said. 'One of the only ones I have, actually. _And_, you were the one to invite him here, weren't you?'

'Quinn is my friend to. I'm not trying to be the bad guy here. I'm just worried about Dia-'

'Diana? What has she got to do with anything?' Sam hissed at her, getting overprotective of his best friend. To Astrid, he was too overprotective and she was soon enough getting provoked herself.

'Don't cut me off. At least let me finish off my sentence before you start interrogating me.' she snapped, though her voice was still hushed. It took Sam quite some time to figure out that she wanted him to reply before she went on. He gave her a short nod, before she continued.

'Diana is heartbroken. We get her out of the house, and she meets on Quinn. Both times she's been out of the apartment, she's met on him. Then he comes here, and she speaks more freely - _without_ screaming at anyone - and even _dances_ with him.'

She took a break to breathe and let the information sink in for Sam before she went on. Unfortunately, Sams brows were knitted together, as he had no idea where she was going with this anymore.

'I think she's looking for someone to help her convalesce,' she stated and when Sams brows knitted together even further, she sighed. 'Rebound. She's looking for a rebound. They've both been through a lot. And how do we know that either of them will be loyal to the other. How do we know that they wont break the heart of one another?' she asked. She seemed so obsessed of this theme as if it was life and death.

'We don't,' Sam answered with a simple shrug. The slightest smile appeared on his face and he put his arm around Astrid as to gesture that he didn't want to encourage the argument any further. 'They're both traumatized after what has been going down through the previous year, but we all are, aren't we? It's none of our business if something is or isn't going on between them. But honestly, I think you're just getting ahead of yourself. After all, they seem like the most absurd match of all time.'

She returned the smile, shyly as for the fact that she wasn't sure if he had forgiven her, or was just bottling up his anger.

'We all did things we're not proud of, but Quinn is a good guy. And I believe that if they actually were dating, he'd be good for her. But I promise you, they are nothing but friends.'

He leaned in for a kiss and she slipped her arms around his neck as he did so. Although neither Sam nor Astrid considered Quinn and Diana as a future couple, they both hoped that they would in fact find someone in the future. Someone that they could love the way Sam loved Astrid and Astrid loved Sam.

'Hey, Romeo! Juliet! Get a room, there are other people here,' the voice of the snarky old Diana made their lips departure as their heads turned in the direction of it.

'Do you even know the plot of Romeo and Juliet?' Astrid shot back, annoyed by the fact that Diana was misunderstanding such a beautiful, classic novel.

'I bet you could tell me all about it. Another day, Genius,' she replied, smirking. It wasn't a fully completed smirk by the old Diana, but it was something pretty damn close to it.

* * *

**7. Did you get the impression that Michael Grant was hinting towards Diana and Quinn ending up together at the end of LIGHT?**

**8. Do you think Astrid is overreacting?**

**Royalty Over Reality: **I'm flattered beyond compare. Thanks for such sweet review_s_. They made my day big time! And you are not the only one being destroyed by feels. I still cry over his death sometimes... I appreciate your tips though, they're really helpful and I'll try to improve on it through the other chapters! :)

**A new chapter will be up next Wednesday!**

**Reviews are always welcome!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Story soundtrack: Recovery - James Arthur**

**Chapter soundtrack: Damaged - Adrian Lux and ****Going Insane - **

**Disclaimer: I sadly do not own the amazing book series that inspired me to write this fanfiction, nor the characters that come with it.**

RECOVERY

_The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new._

-Socrates

Diana was eating cereal when the phone rang. It was on the kitchen counter less than a foot away, yet she got annoyed that she had to push the food aside and answer when it wasn't even going to be for her. As soon as she heard the voice on the other end she knew that she was wrong.

'Hey Diana,' he said as soon as she put the phone up against her ear.

'Quinn?' she asked, surprised. Why? It wasn't as if they were complete strangers to each other. Not anymore, anyways. After those few interferences they had both been a part of during the last couple of weeks, both Sam and Astrid probably considered the two of them being friends.

'Yes, uhm,' he didn't sound as confident as he had been the previous time he saw her. That was weird, considering that asking an acquaintance to dance, usually is considered a bigger challenge then speaking to someone over the phone.

'Yes?' she tried to sound casual, but part of her was getting ahead of herself. Eager for him to go on, annoyed by the fact that he didn't.

'Well, I know it is on a short notice and all,' he started, pausing himself. She could picture his intense stare as his head would lower to the ground. How he'd raise his hand and scratch himself behind the neck. 'But it's New Years Eve today.'

'Yeah,' she replied, brows furrowing. 'I kind of figured.'

'Well, a guy from my school is hosting this party...' he continued hesitantly. Diana already knew that there was no turning back for him now that he'd started. Then why couldn't he just be a man about it? Would she be further tempted by his invitation if he was acting tougher?

Or would she be drawn away by his lack of gentleness?

'I was thinking that... Or, I don't know, but I'm going, and since you're not doing anything tonight - I mean: _If_ you're not doing anything, maybe you'd like to come join me?' Even Diana felt slightly awkward just from being invited by him. He reminded her of Caine in some way.

'I don't really think it's a good idea...' she mumbled staring at the plate in front of her.

'Oh, you sure?' Diana didn't reply, though the heavy silence was a powerful enough answer to Quinn. She could hear him sigh faintly as if he had pulled the phone away, before returning to it again. 'Well, I guess I'll see you sometime.'

He added a quick and uncertain 'call if you change your mind' before hanging up. Diana put the phone away and sighed to herself. She felt like sort of an ass for declining, but after all: this didn't feel right.

Whatever _this_ was. She wasn't to sure about that, but she wasn't going to keep up to figure it out. It had only been three months since the FAYZ and through the two last weeks she had gone from nightmares and uncontrollable sobs, to a new boy who did make her feel worthwhile and somewhat happy.

But maybe she was just using him for that slight source of pleasure that would spark whenever he was around? So a rebound, that is what he was. And he didn't deserve her leading him on. She'd have to sort out her priorities and get fully stable before getting involved in... well, something?

'Who was that?' Astrid asked entering the kitchen and getting juice from the fridge.

'Just Quinn,' Diana replied as casual as possible, which is quite hard in the situation Diana was in. She used to be better at acting, at _lying_, but know the only practice she got was whenever she'd insist on being okay, something which Mary had thought her was not a good way of handling stress and trauma.

'And...?' Astrid said sipping the juice from a glass she had found in the cupboards above. Diana ignored her in hope of being left alone by rinsing her dishes in the sink, but there was no such luck in her life. 'What did he want?'

'He was just wondering if I wanted to join some stupid party later tonight,' she cast a quick glance in Astrids direction and noticing her shocked expression which just seemed to trigger the pressure, so she quickly added 'I said no, of course!'

'Diana!' Astrid stated in shock, not sounding to happy about it. 'Why did you do that? Don't you want to go?'

She tried to ignore her, but even with her back turned at the blonde, she cold feel her intense stare on the back of her neck, daring her to speak. Pushing the uncomfortable feeling seeping through her away was easier said then done, and she soon gave in to the curios genius.

With a sigh she turned to face Astrid and stared at her in defeat. 'What do you want me to do, then? It is all just going to fast. I don't get what he wants...'

'But what do you want?' Astrid asked, a careful smile striking her features. 'I mean, maybe it is going to fast, but maybe another boy will make it easier for you to get past the memories of the previous year?'

'I don't know...' Diana whispered, staring at the ground with an intense glare. She was scared, that's what she was. Not that she would tell Astrid, or anyone else, for that matter. 'I guess you're right, but... I don't want to loose him, you know?'

There was no need in pointing out that _him _was Caine. Diana had never brought him up in conversation with anyone other then Mary, yet Astrid solved it easier then she solved an equation. She nodded slowly, processing Dianas few sentences in silence.

'I know that this is hard, Diana,' Astrid said. 'But you won't get better before you let go. At least just a little.'

'But I just denied coming,' Diana started, looking for a last option out. 'Wouldn't it just be weird to come now?'

'I can call him,' Astrid said, squeezing her arm gently before walking towards the phone. As Astrid dialed Quinns number, she entered her bedroom to leave Diana behind in the kitchen to reconsider her decision.

**-Break-**

Diana entered the mansion of a house with an expression of awe. Sam and Astrid had come with her due to Quinn inviting them as soon as Astrid called him back earlier that same day. All three of them seemed quite uncomfortable among the crowd of dancing, drunk teens who were moving hysterically to the sound of the loud party music.

Diana was having a hard time blending in as she looked five times as stunning as any other girl in the house. She was wearing a dark purple lace dress with 3 quarter sleeves, and an open back. It was tight and highlighted her slim, still beautiful figure. There had been a long time gap since the previous time she wore something close to that, but she still had it in her.

She noticed that a lot of the boys in the room, would occasionally throw obvious glances in her direction, more precisely - her breasts and butt. Their perverted personalities disgusted her, though she realized that there was still the slight enjoyment she got from the all to familiar attention.

As Quinn greeted her, a lot of boys were looking at him, sizing him up as if to decide wether he was worth such a beauty like herself. The weird, colorful shirt he was wearing certainly didn't help his part very much.

They parted their ways with Sam and Astrid and Quinn walked her around the room. He didn't seem as open today, more shy. His earlier rejection might have given him a bad impression. Anyways he seemed open for talking when they ran into another boy their age.

The two of them started chatting and Diana quickly felt left out, once again reconsidering if coming her actually was a good idea.

'So who is this?' Diana turned to great a boy with shaggy, sandy blonde hair and a wide, familiar smile.

'Aiden, this is Diana,' Quinn answered from behind Diana. Her eyes were on the boy, Aiden, and his eyes were on her. Somewhere on her body, at least. 'Diana, this is Aiden. He is the host of the party.'

'And where do you know this beauty from?' Aiden asked, licking his lips intentionally. His eyes were hungry and Diana felt a pang of regret that she hadn't put on more clothing then she had, though she was thankful for the dim light extinguishing the red color which was sprouting across her face.

'Ehm...' Quinn started, seemingly unease by the way his friend formulated the question. 'She went to my former school. We took chemistry together.'

Diana turned her head to look at Quinn, sending him a confused expression. She was about to correct him when she noticed the pleading look he was returning.

'Well that's a shame, considering I don't see any chemistry between the two of you,' Aiden stated laughing abruptly at his own pathetic attempt at a joke, and Diana hoped he didn't actually find that funny. She noticed that even with only a tiny source of light, Quinns blush was yet visible. She could feel herself fuming and she turned her eyes on Aiden, glaring daggers at him.

'Ha-ha. I wouldn't be so arrogant if I were you, considering that the only mutual chemistry you'll ever experience will be with a brick,' Diana replied, a smirk growing across her features. There was no doubt that this was the old her. And although she didn't want to sink down to the level her old self had been on, there were simple characteristics about her that she just couldn't resist.

She grabbed Quinns hand and stalked off, dragging him behind her. As they got away from the perv that was supposedly Quinns friend, she opened her mouth to ask him about what just happened, but he interrupted.

'Not here,' and with that, they once again held hands as he led her up the staircase of the house. They walked through the quiet hallways on the second floor of the two story house. As they passed by doors, Diana could hear muffled moans from behind the doors, not wanting to even think about what was going on on the inside.

Quinn opened a door to a room, which was - and thank god for that - cleared out. Diana walked past him and entered the room. As she flicked the light switch and the lamp in the room was turned on, Diana noticed that they were in a bedroom. Alone.

She could feel her cheeks turning hot.

Why? It wasn't as if fisherman Quinn, of all people, would _rape_ her!

'I didn't take chemistry, Quinn,' she said as soon as the door was closed behind them and they were facing each other. Her arms were crossed, though her voice was restrained and staying cool. For now. 'I took physics. Not that you would know, considering that we didn't take that class together, nonetheless go to the same school?'

Quinn sighed heavily, having a staring contest with the floor as he scratched the back of his neck. 'It is a long story,' he mumbled, the only reason Diana was able to hear him, was because they were standing so close to each other.

'I came here to see you, so until I leave, you have all the time in the world to tell me.' It took all her willpower not to snap at him, but somehow, staying calm seemed more intimidating then her yelling at him. Not to mention that cold glare she was sending him, daring him to spill.

'I don't see how knowing would do any good!' he said determined, not returning the favor as his head flew up, his eyes meeting hers. They looked agitated and pleading.

'Quinn,' she said sternly, staring into his eyes with an overpowering expression. He sighed and opened his mouth to start.

'They don't know,' he stated, Dianas eyebrows raising. Before she could ask what he meant about that statement, he cut her off. 'I was afraid, okay?! I was scared that I'd be judged! I was scared that to them I'd be nothing more then what I was back in the FAYZ; a weak, pathetic _traitor_.'

He spit the last word out with a strong hatred, sorrow in his voice. Diana stayed quiet, arms still crossed. She gave him the slightest nod, silently telling him to go on, although it felt as if her head was about to explode and all she wanted was for him to shut up right away.

'What was I supposed to do?!' he outburst, throwing his arms out into thin air looking utterly exhausted, defeated. 'I was desperate for a second chance, and it'd would be easier if I dropped part of my old self back in the dome. I wasn't a freak, or the big hero. After we got out, I was never interviewed, no one bothered to even remember my name. So when I moved back in with my parents here, in a place where no one knew who I was, it was the perfect time to start over.'

'So you lied,' she whispered, her throat horse. It wasn't fair. It definitely wasn't fair that while she was crying her eyes out at home because of Caine, Quinn was making friends because he never told anyone about his own past.

'I didn't lie, I just bended the-'

'You lied!' she yelled startled. Her palms were on his solid chest as she pushed him backwards. He took a step back, but that was more because he was taken aback by her reaction, rather then actually being pushed by her.

'You know, we might physically be out of that dome. But the FAYZ is all around us. It always has and always will be.' her glare was still directed at him, though it halfway disappeared as her brows furrowed. He sighed. 'It's a metaphor.'

'How the hell could that possibly be a metaphor?!' she outburst, raging with pure fury.

'The FAYZ was all about adapting to new ground. Things happen and you adapt to survive, to make it. And if lying is what it takes for me to not be a victim or an outsider at school... Then that is what I'll do.' He spoke with such ease, as if he'd been going through what to say in his head a thousand times before, planning what he'd say to her when he would finally tell her the truth.

'I go to a psychiatrist, Quinn. I dated a sociopath. I used to be allied with a sadistic psycho. I gave birth to a freaking serial killer!' she said, voice growing stronger with each word. 'And yes, I have in fact done worse things that I will _not_ tell you about either. But think about this Quinn, the fact that you were a traitor is far from as bad as some of the things I've done, some of the things that everyone yet knows of.'

He stayed quiet, silently wondering what else she might have done. What could possibly be worse then the things she had already mentioned?

'Not to mention Lana and Sam! They've both gone through shit just as bad as I have, but I doubt that either of them have created a backup story for their "new life". Then again, I didn't think that much of you, but I guess I was wrong.' Diana said. Voice cold, words harsh.

'You say it as if I'm another person,' Quinn stated, staring at the ground in shame. 'You knowing the truth doesn't change anything.'

'I so wanna slap you right now,' she growled bellow her breath. 'What you just said is seriously the biggest stereotype ever! I mean, isn't that what everyone says? I'm not going to be such a naive little brat and forgive you, because it does change things Quinn! It changes _everything_!'

Diana turned around and walked out of the room.

**9. What do you think of Aiden?**

**10. What do you think of Quinn hiding his past for his new friends?**

**Guest again: **Don't worry about it. I'm just a pretty hypersensitive person, and so only getting the information that I had done something bad without knowing how to fix it put me on the edge to a "panic attack". But thank you, this review truly helped. I hope I did a better job in this chapter, I spent hours trying to improve, but I don't know. I'll try and work with the tips you gave me, just don't expect some _major_ progress with it!

**Royalty Over Reality: **Haha, same here, same here. It was about five days later when I was finally starting to get some sense into my head that I was able to read the aftermath properly. And then I had hit some serious depression, so I guess I was just looking for something to make my day better. And I guess that Astrid is somewhat "good", though I can't stop hating her...

**A new chapter will be up next Wednesday!**

**Reviews are always welcome!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Story soundtrack: Recovery - James Arthur**

**Hey guys! Sorry I haven't updated for the past couple of weeks, but I've had a bad writers block and a lack of inspiration due to draining preparations for finals and a knee injury which really just increased my emotional messiness. Anyways; I'm sorry and I'll try and update on time next week!**

RECOVERY

_Regression toward the mean._

- Jeremy Siegel

_Once again, Diana found herself watching her own body being tormented from afar. This time; the sadistic psycho with the taunting shark grin was the cause to her excruciating pain. _

_She was lying on the ground crying, while he was towering above her with that long, snake like whip and a sniggering expression. He flicked his arm, bringing the tip of the whip onto her stomach. At her loud cries for help, pure joy reached his usually soulless eyes, making them shine in a colder and brighter shade of steel gray then what she was used to._

_Diana howled in pain, begging him to stop, but of course he didn't obey. He repeated to strike her violently, over and over, harder and more violent every time. Her weak frame was shaking frantically, and Diana felt her eyes become blurry at how real this felt, even when the girl who was being whipped before her wasn't even her._

_She could feel the pain surging through her nonexistent body, and the lust of death increasing alongside the agony. Her eyes shut forcefully as she tried to insulate herself from the heart wrenching suffering that had been going on inside of her for way to long. _

_'Wake up, Diana,' Drake whispered playfully, his seductive grin widening and his teeth turning whiter despite the darkness surrounding the two teens._

'Diana! Wake up!'

Diana once again shot up in bed to greet the heavy morning light and a tired Astrid sitting beside her bed. She sighed heavily and lent forcefully back down into the bed, tugging the blankets around her despite her being overheated. She wished she could sink further into the mattress and she pulled the sheets closer to her body in a weak attempt of doing so. All she wanted was to just disappear from the world. To much bad had happened to her, and she couldn't quite figure out where to move on from here.

'Sorry Astrid... It was just a nightmare, I'm fine though,' she lied, shifting back and forth in bed until lying comfortably and closed her eyes, waiting for Astrid to leave so that she could lie there awake in peace and quiet by herself. But she never felt the extra weight on the bed lift and after quite some time, she reopened her eyes to greet the blonde sitting before her, smiling sheepishly, an unusual expression on her face.

'It's your first day at school today, Diana,' Astrid said shyly.

'Great...' Diana mumbled, turning in bed so that her back was turned on the genius. This was exactly what she needed, going to a school she didn't want to go to in the first place, doing homework she would have no use for in the future, making friends who she considered assholes and sluts. Just perfect! She definitely couldn't imagine anything better then this.

* * *

After Astrid had finally been able to haul Diana out of bed, both girls and Sam had to take a cab to school to get there in time. Diana had been scowling the whole way there, and now that she had finally seen the school, her frown was growing even bigger. The school was huge, she'd admit that. Not as huge as Coates Academy - nor as rich or striking - but big.

Teenagers roamed the halls of the school, chatting loudly and getting books from their lockers, hurrying to their classrooms. Sam and Astrid left her side as soon as they entered the hallway, to get to their classes as well, but not before giving her directions as to where the principals office was.

The amount of kids decreased as the few that were left hurried to their classes not to be left with a note to bring home to their parents. Diana walked confidently with the same old grace, head held high, her wavy hair bouncing off her shoulders.

_Just like the old times_, she told herself. She had tried to fight it. Tried to stop herself from turning back into her old self, tried way to desperately to fight her wicked tendencies and act sweetly. But the act was draining her, and she needed all energy possible to recover properly. So gradually she had turned into her old self during her last three months.

Four days back, when Quinn revealed his dishonesty to her, was when her old self was truly exposed as she snapped at him, giving up on whatever may or may not have been between them.

'My name is Diana Ladris, I'm here to see the principal,' Diana stated as she entered the reception of the school. She found it really stupid that it wasn't located at the main entrance of the school, like it used to at Coates.

The woman sitting behind the desk kept her eyes locked with the computer, typing viciously at the keyboard before her. She wasn't the stereotypical old, obese receptionist with rectangular glasses and hair tied back into a tight not.

She seemed to be in her early twenties, with a pixie cut, colorful make-up and dissimilar piercing covering her ears. Her clothes were somewhat goth and the sleeves of her tank top seemed to have been ripped off. He eyes were still on the screen, and Diana wasn't completely sure if she even heard her, due to the earplugs in her ears, playing heavy dubstep. Finally, she took her eyes off of the computer and looked Diana up and down.

'He's in there,' she said, her head beckoned to the side, indicating for Diana to move in the direction of the door on her left.

She entered the office, walking in on the principal as he was speaking on the phone with someone, a solemn expression on his face and his voice husky. He went silent when he noticed Diana in the door frame and said a quick 'Here she is' into the phone, before hanging up on who ever he had been speaking with. His hand gestured for her to come sit in the available chair in front of his desk.

He did not introduce himself through a handshake, nor a smile. Instead he said 'My name is Richard, but you will be calling me principle.'

Diana nodded, not sure if this was how the principals usually introduced themselves.

'Now,' he started through a sigh, leaning his elbows on the table before him, propping his head up on his hands in a stiff movement. 'The thing about this school is that we usually don't take in... refugees, but we are willing to make an exception on-'

'Refugee?! Exception?!' Diana exclaimed in frustration, staring at the man before her in disbelief as if this was all just a joke. 'Who do you think I am? Do you think I own no dignity? I couldn't do anything about the fact that the goddamn parents all disappeared and I was stuck in that fucking hellhole!'

'As I was saying,' the principal continued before she was able to do so herself, his expression tensing as he clenched his jaw and sent her a warning glare. 'Is that we are willing to be making an exception on the terms of you behaving _properly_. This indicates in you doing all your homework, showing up for classes in time and never "ditch" as some of you teenagers might put it, do not encounter in fights my any means and _no swearing_.'

* * *

Diana was fuming by the time she exited the principals office. Who the hell did he think he was, to act that way towards her? Who did he think he was to act like such a bully and treat her like a freak? Who was he to have such an important job, yet let it all go to a waste, just to act childishly?

She stomped down the hallway, finding her locker and unlocking it with the code written on one of the multiple papers she had been handed. On the papers in her hand, she had her locker code, her schedule, a map of the school and the names of the different teachers. Her first class was maths, but it was close to finishing.

Her meeting with the principal had taken quite a lot more time then expected, due to him constantly insulting her, and her constantly cutting him off and retorting a snarky argument. His first impression of her certainly hadn't been anything to brag about, but Diana sure as hell could say the same.

As if on a cue; the bell rang and the hallways flooded with students who were trying to make their way towards their lockers. She was glad she was already by hers, because otherwise she would never be able to find it through the huge mass of teens.

She looked down at the paper to see what her second period consisted of english and she found her english books which had been placed in her locker from before of alongside the rest of the books she would need throughout the semester.

By the time Diana had found all of her books and shut the locker door, the next bell rang and the corridors were emptied of life. She walked down various hallways, silently pointing out how warn out and cheep this school seemed to be compared to Coates Academy.

She looked down at her paper once more, just in case she had gotten the information wrong. It said _Second Period - English - Room Nr. 211 - Martha Grunlie. _Diana looked up from the note, eyeing the different doors as she passed by them.

_207_

_209_

_There! 211. _The door was shut, meaning that the class had already started, and Diana didn't like the sound of that. Even though this school was beyond different from Coates, she knew that every teenager gets easily distracted and that everyone would be dragged out of their thoughts to inspect the delayed student. Sadly, she had felt her courage being devoured with each step closer she got to the door, and she had a feeling that her superior, manipulating attitude from her old school would not work as efficiently here.

She swung the door open and entered before she had time to think it through and run off. A petite, short woman - who Diana guessed was the teacher due to her exhausted expression - was standing at the front of the class presenting a book, and she was cut off by her entrance, looking in her direction alongside the other twenty students in the classroom.

There was an awkward silence spred across the room until a a blonde slut in the back of the classroom yelled 'This isn't Sky High, freak! Get the hell out of here!' a couple of the other whores in her possy giggled at her comment and whispered encouraging things to one another as Diana mainly focused on standing her ground with the little honor she had left.

She had kind of expected the teacher to silence the girls, but she didn't even bother sending them the look. Instead, she turned towards Diana copying the principals douche look perfectly.

'Could you please take a seat? I'm trying to educate my class.' she huffed sourly and Diana had to clench her fists to avoid from giving him the finger as she stomped over to an available seat and sat down with a stiff expression on her face.

* * *

**11.**** Did you feel any empathy towards Diana through the series?**

**12. I know that this is sort of random of me, but I just need to brag about getting two free tickets for The Fault In Our Stars premiere on June 2nd and I am super excited! Has anyone else read the book and/or (planning to) watch the movie? Does anyone else HATE Ansel Elgort and Shailene Woodley?**

**Royalty Over Reality: **I absolutely agree with you! He was perverted and a creep, and I'm planning on making him important later, so be prepared! Listened to the song, and I couldn't agree more. It was really straight forward! ;) Thank you for the review!

**Goneismyfave1: **You always have something beautiful to write me, and I'm always just as flattered by you! Man, where to begin? How about this; thank you! I loved Quinn once, then I started writing fanfiction of him, and he just became a pitymagnet to me, and I can't handle pityparties, so I just pushed him out of my little (big, it is pretty big) circuit of favorite fictional characters. Amazing, you say? Well thank you very much. Want to have my mind? No thank you, I think you'd be a bit shocked at how my mind is a bipolar mess switching in between violent and goldfish mode! ;) And I know that Aiden is a fucking perv, but it's part of the plan, because I'm hoping to write of him later. Yeah, yeah. Poor Quinn, sure! Well, I thought I needed him to be sort of "bad", to make sure I wasn't getting ahead of myself and not writing Diana justice! Thank you anyways, I appreciate you and your lovely reviews SO much! You are amazing! And please reply on my PM ;)


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